Weeping

U cry when u are feeling sad.
U feel really bad when ur life is full with sorrowness.
No one can help u out.
No one can really be "the one" to comfort ur bleeding heart.
U just stand by ur own.
Alone.

Whatssup

Just woke up, and the feeling of being drunken was so good. Yesterday was awesome, Leng and i went to Mei's house and had some wine. Thank u Leng and Mei, for spending time with me and trying to comfort me. But now... Urghhh... headache is killing me!!

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Last friday was my dear friend Teresa's big day. So the nite before her big day, we bought some cakes and had a lil' celebration in my car while we were heading to 1u for movie. U know how many cakes we bought?? Guess what... 2 slices!! Just 2 slices of secret recipe. No we were not saving our money, it just because there were only 3 of us, i mean the members of the BestBuddiesGengEver. SoOo... if we bought one whole cake, it'll be wasted :D

While i was driving, billy lightened up the candle and we sang The Song to teresa. We sang so loud till our ear-drum nearly burst out. Then, they take turns to "feed" me the cakes (i was driving) and i'd ended up eaten most of the cakes compared to them!! Muahaha...

We watched Step Up and i felt so into those dancing scenes. Great... i must say. Worth a watch.

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What i did on last whole week:

1. Sit in MPH for 4 hours reading books. Alone.
   
2. Seen 3 movies - The convenant, Open Season, and Step Up.
   
3. Spending times at putrajaya bridge with my geng. It's a great place to relax my mind.
4. Endless window shopping.
5. Eat eat eat.
6. Fell in love with curry katsu don.
7. Shouted in my car.
8. Listened endless time of Avril Lavigne.
9. Spent most of my time with my geng. Im afraid of being alone.
10. Went to Midvaley once.
11. 1 Utama 3 times.
12. Alamanda 3 or 4 times.
13. Not drinking any latte or mocha.
14. Driving crazily.
    
15. Drank an alcoholic soda.
16. Finished 2 bottles of red wine with my friends.
17. Had my first japanese class.
    

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Okay... should stop here. Cos it seems endless.
Adieu.

The Lake House

Seen this movie again since i've save it in my laptop. Tho it's not the first time i watch this movie, but the feeling is still there. Feel touched.

It's a touching love story about Kate (Sandra Bullock) 's conceit that u wait for the right time and for the right one.

Hope this is real.

If u wait, u'll get ur The One.
So, i'll be waiting for u.

Thank you

Thank you my friends, for:

• listening to me when i was helpless. U guys make me feel that i'm not alone.
  
• giving me alot of advice and i really apreciate it.
• spending time with me, chatting with me.
• watching movie with me.
• treating me nice foods :)
• listening to my awful singing in an enclosed spaces... sorry my friends. But it makes me feel better.
  
• telling me tons of jokes and keep making fun of me which make me laugh. Yea, at least i laugh.
• keep supporting me.
• lepak-ing with me.
• doing nothing but just sitting beside of me.

U guys are really sweet. Don't worry bout me. I'll get it through and live my life to the best :)
Thank you. *huggies*

p/s: thank you my dearest mummy for giving me endless support. don't worry bout me. I'll take a good care of myself. And for someone: I'll study hard and will not giving up for my life.. don't worry. take care.

undiscovered

Honestly, i've never cried so much in my 20-years-of-life.
The amount of tears that i had last nite were greater than the tears that i had in the past 20 years.
Must be alot huh. yea. U bet.

I've cried woefully when i closed my eyes. Cos can't stop thinking of him, the precious time that we've spent together in the past few years, what he had done to me which made me so happy just like the best princess in the world, what he cooked for me, the butter cake, the hugs, the kisses, and so many unstated matters. And think about how he used to be so caring so adorable so loving...
And think about how much i loved him, how deep it is. But, it's just too lil' too late.

So, i didn't sleep for the whole nite, just crying and figuring out. I stopped crying for bout 1 min, then i cried again, and it continued over and over again.

Untitled

Honestly, i'm totally helpless now. The Thing that im not wishing to happen The Most has happened. Yea. U Know what i'm talking rite??

I had never cried so hard for my life. NEVER. And it's damn so PAIN.

Think i'd heard the breaking sound of my heart.

But it's just the beginning of my life. It's the beginning of my life to let me stand on my own, to become more mature, to figure out what i want, to learn to be more responsible, and to love myself before i could love anybody else.

U have to really feel how pain is when u really fall down, though it really HURT, but this is the way that u can learn to grow up, to become more mature.

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Dear my beloved,

I love u SO much. U know it. If it's the best way to let u feel better, i'll do it. So now, what is left for me to do is to stay away from u, to let u alone. Sorry cos i've made u so suffered on what i've done. But maybe like what u've said, it's the time to let us continue our life of our own, it's no use to continue on "us" if the probs were still there. Don't worry, i'll stand on my own and continue on with my life. I'll be responsible to myself. And Thank You. Cos u have bring so much happiness into my life, and let me know what's the colour rainbow has. And u let me realize that i could love a person that much. U might care or might not, but i do hope that u'll be smiling when u think back on whatever we hav done together happilly. Lastly, REMEMBER those things that i've told u before i hung up the phone. Just pls don't forget.

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Can't sleep. Blogging is the best thing that i could do now. ahh.. feel much better after this. And thanks to my dear gf shou mei. Thanks for ur listening and ur comforting. Not to mention, my lovely sis is the Best-Ever-Sista-In-The-World. Feel so touched after received ur msg. *huggies*

"To get through this" is the thing that i could do now.

Fugging up

Warning: Don't read this if u are in a great mood now. Cos I'M NOT.

So Fugging up right now. So emo now. Cried. But It's helpless.

What will u feel if:
- ur loved one seems doesn't care for u as he used to be??

- u called ur babe and told him how much u missed him but the answer u've got from is "i'm freakin tired" but not "i miss u too"??

- the previous statement has happened for quite sometime.

- u just stay at home for 4 days continuously?? and not goin out ANYWHERE??

- can't hug ur babe for more than 4 days.

- so if u can't hug him = u've not seen him for the days i've mentioned.

- u've not heard any "i love u" sort of words spilled out from ur babe for unidentified period of time.

- u called ur babe and he always says "i'm busy now".

- u keep sitting in front of the laptop instead of goin anywhere, doin anything other than facing the laptop.

- everyone that u wanna chat with seems so busy.

- u are feeling breathless

- ur eyes are puffy than ever.

- the bad things keep happen?

Sure u'll feel so fugging up. For sure.
Indeed, i'm feeling like i'm in the hell now and so fugging up.